New York City 1/2

On May 20th, 2011 I stepped foot into Central Park. I was warming up with some of the best runners in the country and beyond. I spent the previous day and a half feeling out of place. On Friday evening I had the pleasure of eating dinner with Meb Keflezighi. I had so many questions, but yet found myself frequently speechless. I was entertained by the idea that we had ordered the same meal, a chicken sandwich. Then, on Saturday afternoon, I sat between Kara Goucher and Ryan Hall at the elite meeting. As I looked around the room I had feelings that I should not be running as elite… particularly here and now, amongst all this talent, ability, and speed. It was all so surreal until I felt the cool breeze on Sunday morning. I wanted to run a strong, consistent race, gage my fitness for Boston next month, and gain faith that my body could handle the road. In the back of my head I wondered how my body would handle this race a week after a 50k.

I had flown into New York the preceding Wednesday. I had ventured off to Connecticut for a couple days with family. My sister, nephews, and brother in-law kept my mind off my tired legs. My youngest nephew, the one who I had the pleasure of delivering, gave me a sole focus for my race. As I was lacing up my shoes one morning, he turned to me and said, "Aunt Caiti your shoes look like race cars." Every time my mind started to go down a negative path during the race I reminded myself that my shoes were race cars according to three-year-old Griffin.

At 5k into the race, I had some doubts. I feared being disappointed, slowing down, or literally falling apart. I looked down at my shoes, took a deep breath, and smiled. Consistency seemed to be perfected as I had pretty even splits at each mile marker. The first eight miles looped through Central Park and I was surprised by the ups and downs. I expected flats, but I was treated to rolling climbs for 8 miles. Then we dropped out of the park and it was a nice steady decent through Time Square and into the finish. I felt great, particularly around mile 10 where I finally felt warmed up. I was amazed by how great my legs and body felt especially considering my 50k last weekend. I finished in 1:19:24, an 11 sec PR… whohoo (huge I know)! I felt like I could have kept that pace for at least another 5 miles. It was very clear that I had more speed somewhere in those legs. But, it was also very clear that my body knows 6 minute pace. My lungs were great, I was breathing fine and even talking throughout the race. Ultimately I am grateful that my body has been recovering so well and that there is still some speed in my legs.

I am incredibly grateful for my NYC experience. Thanks to the New York Road Runners for a fabulous and organized race! Thanks to Infinite Running for encouraging my participation and taking good care of me! Thanks to all those insanely fast and inspirational runners! And thanks Griffin Brown for making me smile for 13.1 miles!

Looking forward to spending the next month dialing in for Boston.

Two Years Later - Way Too Cool 50k 2011

It is hard to believe that it has been two years since I ran my first ultra. It is hard to believe that I am now in a new age category, yes, 30. I have made some improvements since 2009 like learning not to race in red cotton shorts, consuming meat again (after five years vegetarian and two vegan), but I still have my doubts, anxieties, and many more obstacles to overcome. Yesterday, I was more nervous than I was at the start of 2009 Way Too Cool 50k (or at least it seemed like it). Coming back from an injury has proved to be difficult. I don't trust my body like I did. Over the last few months there has been low back pain, quad numbness, twinges, SI dysfunction, chiropractic, physical therapy, massage, way more treadmill running that I planned on, and in the end, doubt about whether I am in fact healed. In the last month I've been feeling more like myself, but there are occasional hitches in my step. I'm trying to patient, but I do find it really fucking frustrating. My hips are rotated and twisted. So who can magically fix them? Not quite that simple when it's years of habits, maybe too many plies, maybe getting thrown from a horse at a young age, maybe too many times sitting cross legged, maybe sleeping on my right side too much… in the end, it doesn't matter. The body is mysterious and amazingly intelligent. It learns to adapt. And I am learning to adapt to it.

At the start of Way Too Cool I tried to put all doubt aside. I tried to remember what I was grateful for as I gave Sam a kiss and my warm-ups. He stood at the start, left foot in boot, and right hand with cane. I knew how badly he was looking forward to this race, but there he was with broken toe supporting me (Note: we're both upping the calcium and vitamin d just in case you were going to mention it). A few minutes before the race started a couple more people said hi and mentioned it was great to see me back running. That meant a lot, thank you! Then it was 8:00 and we headed off. It was great. The first 8 mile loop was on mainly new terrain (with the exception of the same paved road start). After slightly over a mile there was a gorilla that jumped out at us. I thought that was the coolest addition and I would have liked to see him more frequently throughout the course particularly around goat hill. Anyway, in the first 10+ miles Peter, Will, Joelle, and I were cruising. There was mud, river crossings (I need to learn better technique… currently I stop, stare, and then clumsily walk through the water), and beautiful single tracks. Around mile 10, Joelle eased up on the decent, and Will and I headed off with Peter quickly catching up. Around mile 16, Will mentioned that we were on a 7:12 mile average pace. That's pretty ballsy for your first 50k race post-injury, but, I felt good, so we kept trucking. We trucked right up dead truck hill. We lost Will at the top, but Peter and I kept running and chatting here and there. I had the lovely experience of a jammed up SaltStick dispenser and I will blame the last 5 miles of muscle cramping on this little malfunction. Well that and pure fitness base. As soon as I hit goat hill I knew Joelle would be close. I had to walk that damn thing. In 2009 I believe I ran most of it… how the hell did I do that? And that's when I started to feel like absolute crap. My muscles started cramping. My body was ready to shut down at mile 26, 27, 28, and I thought I was going to have to walk it in at mile 29.5. When Joelle came up the last climb after highway 49 there was absolutely nothing I could do. I had nothing. I didn't have my usual speedy legs. I literally had zero. In fact, I questioned if I could actually jog it into the finish. I wish that gorilla would have carried me in or scared me shittless so I would've gotten a move on it. Oh well as Peter said to me, "you either have it or you don't." For the first time, I really didn't. Numb left quad and tight crampy legs I made it to the finish in 4:04. That will be my third fastest 50k, but the most terrible feeling finish (ok I lied 2nd day of 2010 TRR, 14 miles on a stress fracture was far worse).

Once I came through the shoot I congratulated Joelle. She ran an amazing race (Note: all you ladies running Western States better watch out because that girl can climb and no matter what she says, she has leg speed too)! Then I just stood there hugging Sam and crying. Plain and simple I felt like crap mentally and physically. I expected more from my body, but ultimately accepted my limits. Ok so I'm not quite where I want to be, but I'm here, I'm running, and I have amazing friends and the nicest competition. Plus, I am getting one step closer to trusting my body again, one of my biggest obstacles to date.

(Note: Thanks to all the great volunteers and Julie for an amazing race at Cool! My favorite = the gorilla... he's a keeper!)