A Work In Progress

I had a bad day today. Absolutely frustrating when I had two of my best workouts recently, a ½ Marathon tempo at 6:12 pace two weeks ago and then a 10-mile tempo last week at 6:04 pace. You can plan everything so well and some how even when you are at your fittest you fall to pieces. Or at least that’s what happened for me. And it wasn’t just today, but it seems it has been a frequent pattern over the past two years. Of course this is me over thinking. I pulled out running logs to find clues, give answers, but it was just one shitty ass day amongst weeks, months, and years of good runs.

I could have pulled out of Napa at mile 6 today when I felt really shitty from miles 3-6, but I held on. Maybe it was just a rough patch. Took a GU, some deep breaths, focused on the views. The next 7 or 8 miles were perfect and then bam back to crap. Unfortunately at mile 20 when I decided I had already exceeded my limit, I had no one in sight to save me. So, I jogged and walked for another 3+ where my Mark, Sam, and Will comforted my tears. I seriously didn’t want to cry. I had accepted for 23+ miles that it just wasn’t my day. Something was off and I just needed to let it go. But never an easy thing to do in any sport, or any aspect of life for that matter.

There are some things that I realized today. First, they need to make pockets in more sports bras for GUs. Two, I don’t think I should ever run a race right before my period. My running log has made note that all my worst races/workouts take place in this time frame. Sometimes it stinks being a woman. Three, I need to have more fun. I used to run just on pure feel, no specific workouts, and lots of time on the trails. In 2009 there is a slew of photos of me running with a smile, now I just look pissed. I’m not usually by the way, but still. I didn’t make a running log until 2011. I didn’t pay attention to splits. It was all about effort, exploration, and talking with friends on long runs. I haven’t jumped in a mud puddle in a long ass time (well the lack of rain could have something to do with that!).

So anyway, I always tend to blog about bad days, but isn’t that like most things in life. The good stuff just doesn’t always have as much story or feeling to it. Or something like that.

Long story short, I am still trying to figure things out…. Aren’t we all?

TNF 50 Miler Take Two

Today, after my second 50 miler, I woke-up surprisingly early with stiff heels and a sore right arm (damn water bottle). Otherwise, I felt pretty darn good, physically at least. Mentally, I had a bit of the typical post race blues, doubts, and so I did laundry, cleaned, walked, and sat in a hot tub. But, I hate that anticlimactic feeling after an ultra or any big race for that matter.

There is no doubt I gave all of what I could yesterday at the North Face 50. I’ve never wanted to give up so bad and yet still make it close to another 24 miles. I literally felt like my body couldn’t go any further, but somehow it carried on through mud and up climbs. Even a ¼ mile to the finish I thought that was it, I need to be carried. But, I somehow kept putting one foot in front of another. There is no doubt that my pacer, John Burton, and crew, Will Gotthardt, helped me keep the forward momentum. My favorite line from John yesterday was, “never make a decision going uphill.” After hearing this and running a good descent, I started shaking my head and crying at mile 32. I was done. Will said, “it’s always your decision Caitlin.” And on that note, I grabbed my water bottle and GU and started running. I have no idea why. And that’s how it kept going until the finish (with a touch more crying, cursing, and walking).

I still don’t know how I made it. But, I did. So where did this leave me? Happily in forth, amazed that I had pushed through, stunned that I had actually made it to the finish line, and a little melancholy too. I didn’t want to just make it to the finish line, but I had to work with my body and just follow its lead. I do wish that I could have felt better even though I am not sure it would have kept me running with Emelie Forsberg and Stephanie Howe (congrats ladies!). Maybe I’ll get another day to try.

Then again, I’ve got some thinking to do about ultras, just not sure my heart is in them. 50ks are one thing, but there is a reason that it took me three years to do my second 50 miler. And why I still vow that I’ll never in my lifetime do another 100k (my non-running friends are holding me to that). I guess I’d really love to love them, but deep in my heart, I kind of wish I was just a really good hurdler or 10ker. But, I’m not.  So where does this leave me? A little bit uncertain about what I’m doing and what I want to be doing. But, I am not going to make any decisions right now. Sometimes things need some time, just got to make it up those hills to figure it out.

All and all, it was my hardest race to date, but it will make me stronger for races to come. I was thrilled to reconnect with folks from the ultra community and it was really amazing to run with an impressive field of women. I hope the sport keeps moving in that direction because if I had to pick, I’d like to be doing more races with mud (maybe a touch less than yesterday), hills, and single tracks (missed them yesterday).

The descent before mile 32.
Photo courtesy of San Francisco Running Company. 

Second time into Muir.
Photo courtesy of Rick Gaston.

Happy to be done.
Looking forward to that for 24 f'n miles!
Photo courtesy of San Francisco Running Company.

Sometimes it's just about getting to the finish...

Sometimes you just know how races will go, particularly when airing on the side of not so well. Somehow I still hope that some miraculous legs with arrive as soon as I start these races. Unfortunately not the case when I did America’s Finest City Half-Marathon a few weeks back. It was by far my worst race to date. Maybe it was spending the week before in altitude or the ridiculously hot and humid weather at 7am or…. Doesn’t really matter because a mile in I gave in. I walked, after a mile. My legs were cramping (a first since the Olympic trials), mentally I was stressed, and then I calmed myself down, jumped back in the race, and just simply got to the finish.

I melted about 150 times out on the asphalt. I tried to bring perspective: hey at least I’m running! It was no use, I was miserable… sweaty, hot, and miserable. I trudged up the last climb, disappointed with my slow time, and frustrated by the comments about my great pace --- what? No this is 11 minutes slower than what I am capable of I wanted to shout. It didn’t matter, they were trying to be supportive and I was just disappointed. That was until I realized on my cool down, in conversations with others, and in the weeks post this crappy experience, one race doesn’t show fitness. In fact, the race conditions affected pretty much everyone out there. I highly doubt many folks were setting PR’s. It seems most of us just wanted it to be over.

A week later, I showed up to the Dirt Inspires Women’s Trail Half-Marathon in Aptos, CA. I had done this race the year prior and it is still by absolute favorite course. It has it all, climbs, descents, river crossings, and single tracks. Within a few steps of the start I sensed a repeat of last year. I took the lead and within the first climb could no longer hear anyone behind me. There were a few moments of panic when I could sense some heaviness in my legs.  But, soon I didn’t even notice as my surroundings completely distracted me. I didn’t feel like I was racing, but just enjoying the terrain. If only I could find this sense of peace in a road race. I only looked at my watch once during the race as I started wondering if I could beat my previous time. I came up a bit short, finishing about a minute slower this year. But, I took the win and I had another phenomenal experience on this course. It once again allowed me to regain some confidence. You can read more about the race here and here by another Caitlin (congrats on your trail adventure!).  

But here is my dilemma, when I have a poor race on the roads I go to the trail for confidence. I want to feel confident on the roads, but they still feel foreign and stressful. Maybe I just like the peace and quiet of running by myself after all this is frequently how I train. Some things have started to come together in training for the road. Just yesterday I went out for a good marathon pace effort at Alameda Creek Trail and averaged a 6:05 pace. But, again I was by myself. So maybe I don’t like crowds. And maybe I just really love the trails. Well duh! But truth me told, I am also starting to fall in love with tempo runs and speed work. Maybe it just all goes back to the idea that one race doesn’t define me and that I need to be patient. Every day is different and eventually the hard work does pay off, maybe just not always when we hope it will. Regardless, I am enjoying the training and days like today where I spent 20 miles in Redwood with Sam, enjoyed some post run food while watching football, took a nap, and nearly forget about that one crappy race, well until I wrote about it.

One final note, thanks to the girl in Aptos that told me she reads my blog. Hope you enjoyed the rest of your bike ride! You helped inspire me to get back on here and put out an entry. Something that I’ve been severally lacking on!

Photo courtesy of Robert J. Schroeder

National Geographic Video

Right before the Olympic Marathon Trials my brother came to San Francisco to do this video about me and my passion for running. It's finally up for viewing!

Thanks Bryan and thanks National Geographic.  

Trust Your Hips

Just recently I received an email from a woman who has recovered from a hip stress fracture, but said she doesn’t trust her hips like she once did. I have been teaching a woman in the same boat who has just started running again. This is what I can say, I have doubts about my hips too --- maybe less frequently then in the months proceeding my come back, but there are still doubts. Anytime I get a weird ache even close to my hip or groin, I think I’ve broken again. Luckily, I get either Rudy or Megan (as mentioned in my last blog) to work out kinks and reassure me that is just in fact tight muscles.

For those that are dealing with this injury or recovering, it’s difficult. It is hard to trust your body and worrying about its return is natural. But, I’d like to offer what I’ve learned in the two years post stress fracture.

• Find a body worker that you trust, ideally a massage therapist and someone that practices A.R.T (active release therapy). Getting regular work has made a huge difference in balancing out my stride, increasing my recovery, and it’s helped me with being a smoother and faster runner.
•  Don’t be nut. I learned the hard way. I ran high mileage, high intensity, and I hadn’t changed my shoes in several months. If I hadn’t gotten a stress fracture it would have been odd. Patience is a hard one to learn, but the body has to get used to demands, you cannot demand too much all at once. This is why I highly recommend a running log. I was able to look back at the months before August 2010 to see my many mistakes.
• Yoga --- I would be careful with high intensity stretching. As a yoga instructor I know there is a balance between strength and flexibility. I highly recommend stretching, ideally active stretching and foam rolling as a day-to-day routine. I am a big fan of leg swings, both front and back and side to side. Foam rolling can be done on glutes, IT bands, hammies, adductors, quads, and calves. Yoga can be incorporated, but one should be cautious about doing long runs and high intensity yoga classes on the same day. Yoga is very intense on the hips and this can put extra strain on an area that is already very strained from running. This being said, I recommend doing yoga on an easy day or day off of running. It can be incorporated as long as you pay close attention to fatigue, over-stretching, and keeping certain muscles engaged while stretching (so that you’re not relying on bones, ligaments, and tendons to get a stretch).
• Pilates --- Strengthening your core is a huge help in preventing injuries and running faster. On a daily basis, I see what a huge difference this makes in people dealing with all sorts of injuries, aches, and pains. On a personal note, this keeps me balanced and strong in the areas that running fails to strengthen. Working on a reformer is the best, but there are certain exercises that can be done without the reformer. My favorites for keeping the area around the hips strong and flexible involve the gluteus muscles, specifically gluteus medius, illiopsoas, hamstrings, abductors/adductors, quadratus lumborum, obliques, and low abdominals/pelvic floor. I am also a big fan of doing single leg exercise, which work on stability and coordination. Samples of good exercises that could be done at home are the pilates five or the side-leg series. I also recommend a thera-band exercise. You will need a partner and a strong thera-band. Come into a yoga lunge with the back heel lifted. Your partner will loop the theraband around your front ankle and pull to one side of your body (you will switch after the first set and pull to the opposite side). As they pull, keep your balance and bend and straighten the back leg. Make sure to keep your front knee straight ahead and your hips in alignment. 10 bends and straightens are sufficient. And, there are a slew of other beneficial exercises. I’ll try to work on getting video of some of them when I find some time!
• Take deep breaths and relax when the nerves or worry increase. Stress doesn’t help with recovery and may actually prevent it from occurring. So take some Epsom salt baths, practice deep breathing, and get good sleep!
•  Get blood work done if you haven’t --- you may need some extra calcium and vitamin d. I did!

So those are some of my tips. Hope they help! And, try to trust those hips, our bodies are strong and resilient. We just ask a great deal of them!