Coca Cola and Way too Cool 50k

I believe Coca Cola is the absolute best thing ever as it basically saved my ass at Way Too Cool. I would still be sitting at the top of Goat Hill, mile 26.3, even a week later (ok maybe not a week, but at least a few hours). So let’s just say, it got me another five miles, which I absolutely did not think I had in me.

Ok let me give you a bit of a background. First, Friday after working the morning, I met Sam and Will. Before we headed up to Cool, we grabbed a sandwich from our favorite little Grinder shop in Montclair. We did the basic things once getting to Auburn, picked up our numbers, checked into our rooms, and Sam and I did our typical routine of laying out our kits avec numbers. Then it was off to Tre Pazzi Trattoria for dinner. I don’t want to scare you of this place, but I am convinced if I ever do Cool again, I am not eating here. Last year they spilled a pitcher of water on me and this year I am uncertain if it was their food that made me sick or just sickness that made me sick…. But, on the positive side the food is decent.

Ok so I woke-up on Saturday after getting what I would call a pretty unspectacular night of sleep, but manageable. I rested in the car until I did a little pre-race jog and then it was time to race. I started out feeling quite comfortable and then around mile three I had a moment where I almost lost my breakfast. I tried not to worry about it and just kept going on enjoying the run. Around mile 8, the first loop was accomplished and I was right on pace, but then my poor GU just didn’t settle in my stomach. I am not really sure where I lost it, but somewhere between mile 8 and the Dead Truck Trail. I was trying my best not to focus on the energy expended or the continuing nauseous feeling in my tummy. Around mile 20, I knew I was bonking, bonking bad. All I could think about was just getting to the next aid station where I planned to call it a day. I don’t even know how I got up Goat Hill. I really needed to sit down --- I literally felt like I was on the verge of passing out.

So that brings me to the Cola, they sat me down at the aid station, told me I was going to finish this thing, and handed me two Dixie cups of Coke. I was kind of pissed that they were telling me I had to finish. Are you kidding? I denied that I would and just got angry enough inside until I said, fuck it, I just want to be done. So I stood up and continued the five miles to the finish. As I got to Hwy 49, I had a moment of thinking that maybe they’ll let me pull out. But, with 1.4 to go, I figured even walking it in would be better than DNFing. I did walk the hill, but I ran the rest of the way in. I thought I was going to have another hurling session at the finish, but luckily that beautiful scene didn’t manifest.

I made my way to the medical tent where I found Sam sipping on Coke and I was encouraged me to do the same. It ended up that Sam had a pretty identical day on those trails. Maybe it was the pasta sauce, a little bug, or just pure coincidence, but as I’ve learned you can drive yourself trying to find an answer. So, it wasn’t a great day and I would have loved to be out there racing with Tyler Stewart or Megan Laib or at the very least chasing them. But, so it goes, there are good days and there are not so good days. But the weather was nice, I got to the finish line, and other than my stomach, my body felt great. And in the words of my coach, Mark McManus, "We have a lot to look forward to."

Golden Gate 50k

Sometimes I forget. I forget that 31miles (or in the case of Saturday, 31.8) is a long ass way. I forget that my feet will be sore. And I fail to recall that sensation of replacing my muddy Salomon's with a pair of flips-flops, wiggling my muddy toes and feet, until that moment is there again. It’s been a year since my last 50k. I’ve seen a bit more pavement in the last year then I’ve seen the Headlands or even Redwood Park for that matter.

Transitioning back to the trails after the Olympic trials proved to me that what I do on the trails isn’t easy. That running up and down hills can be just as challenging, if not more so, than keeping an even steady pace. I hiked a lot more hills in those first few weeks, my legs were still causing me discomfort, and there was also the reality that, well, my legs were now accustomed to flat terrain. So, like any normal person I got frustrated and doubtful. But, I let go of the watch, stopped questioning my stop and go on hills, and I just kept trying to remember why I love the trails. I really questioned why I used to say I loved the hills, but I remember now. And, I do love them.

I signed-up for Coastal Trail’s Golden Gate 50k to remember what a 50k felt like, to remember what I am capable of, and to just run in the Headlands again. So that’s just what I did this past Saturday. I just went out and cruised without urgency, anxiety, or doubt. And thank goodness, my body remembered how to manage 6,000 feet of climbing and four hours on my feet. And, I uncovered a few things:

-Peanut Butter & Plain GU are my new favorites.
-Mud on Pirates Cove is dangerous --- thank goodness for the long weeds, which kept me standing (I probably tore at least twenty out of the ground as I braced near to close falls.)
-I like chasing guys. I need to work on chasing girls or at least not being afraid of it).
-Flip-flops are amazing!
-I love Epsom salt baths & crosswords. They’re the essential after-party.
-Marincello is fun the first time through. The second time it’s just well, it’s just different.
-I still find the Headlands absolutely magical.

Oh poor hamstrings, I love you, and welcome back!

So anyhow, it is good to be back spending time on the trails. I think I’ll still find a little space for the pavement. But, yup it feels pretty good being back.

What Makes me Cry...

Apparently both alien babies and computer-generated chimps make me cry. I know, not the most riveting or real, but seriously I was a mess during District 9 and Planet of the Apes. Something about kids, or better said, creatures, being taken from their home just wrecks me. Kids in general just wake me up to the world. Just last week, I was taking a walk with a friend of mine around Lake Merritt and we came upon this little girl with the biggest smile just waddling along. Happy to move her two little feet as the mother closely followed behind, bracing for a potential fall. Both of is instantly thought of the same thing: “damn, to be that happy.” And, then we grow-up, get tainted, rant a lot more than we laugh and smile, get frustrated by the stupidest shit, honk are horns, flip people off… Ok, ok, I know not all the time, but you get the gist.

When I was teaching dance classes to preschoolers I had my hands full. But, I also got, “teacher Caitlin I peed my pants.” As I frantically stopped the music, rushed over to take her hand, she said, “it’s ok, I was just having so much fun, I didn’t want to stop dancing.” Or there was the day I asked for the rules during dance class and I received, “don’t put your hand in water where there are sharks.” The best part about this comment was the other kids reactions. They all nodded vigorously like it was the absolute best rule ever. These adorable moments have stuck with me. This is why I have kept my pre-Olympic Trials message from my nephew, which says in a raspy voice, “run fasttt.” I listen to it when I just need a smile.

And truth be told, when I’m having a bad day, or doubts during a race, or about ready to cuss out someone that didn’t turn their turn indicator on (1. yes, I call it a turn indicator not a blinker & 2. why do people feel it’s unnecessary to use these devices in the bay area?), I think about being grateful to move, listen, and interact. Some days I do better than others, some days I have to think about certain things like my nephew calling my running shoes race cars, or that hug I’ll get at the end of a long day. Regardless, it’s pretty important to take a look around and not take everything so seriously...

Olympic Marathon Trials

It’s hard not to start this blog with a list of frustrations or excuses about Saturday, but this would completely overlook how far I’ve come in the past three years as a runner and a person. My goal in 2010 was to qualify for the Olympic Marathon Trials. There were bumps in the process, but I qualified, made it to the start line, and participated. That’s saying a lot, especially when in 2008 I could barely sign-up for low-key trail races without dying of anxiety while wearing cotton shorts and constantly questioning my abilities to be competitive.

There is no doubt that I hoped to feel better while racing the trials. I tried to hang on for all it was worth. I ignored the cramping in my legs for 18 miles, distracting myself with positive thoughts and determination. Approaching mile 16, I realized there are times where one is better off listening to their body and this was one of those times. I knew I would be disappointed, but I would also be more pissed with myself if I struggled through the pain and ended up hurt (like I had in 2010 at TRR).

In the past couple years, I would run through everything in a race regardless, but 34 miles on a hip stress fracture made me realize there are times when stopping is a better result. So, as soon as I saw my dad at mile 18, I pulled aside. There were some tears and lots of thoughts (was it the massage the night before? or all those hiccups in my training over the past few months? or the cold that just started to clear up after three weeks?). I could make myself crazy with too much thinking, so instead I decided to let it go, drink some wine, spend a wonderful time with family, and think about all I have to be grateful for. Plain and simple, I reached my goal of making it to that start line. I got to partake in something that I never expected to be a part of. I wore bun huggers for the first time (an accomplishment in itself). And, I have many more miles, ups and downs, and adventures ahead of me. So now it’s time to rest and get eager for all that’s ahead.

(Taken literally seconds before I pulled out.)

The Walnut Creek Half Marathon Tune-up

When it's 30 degrees and 5 am, it's pretty tempting to crawl back into bed and skip out on a race. But, luckily I had someone to join in on the “fun-orture” (as she called it). Heather Tanner was waiting for me at the Walnut Creek Marriot and we were both hoping for a good workout. So, I met her in my eighty layers and we ran the three miles to the starting line as a warm-up. The starting line felt a heck of a lot colder and I was tempted to keep my two long sleeve shirts and pants on. But, I stripped down, shivering, and goose-bumped covered (I know I grew-up in Northern Michigan, but dang, cold weather is hard to motivate in!).

Heather and I headed out at a comfortable pace and it took me a good 5 miles to feel my fingers. I just followed Heather, having a few temptations every now and then to stop, but the cold weather worked as a deterrent. After getting through the first few miles, I felt a good groove. I was surprised by the mile plus climb that lead us from mile 5 upwards. I had to laugh as I had told Heather earlier that morning that it looked like a super mellow climb --- for a road race, no, but for a trail race, yes. I know both of us were starting to wonder when it would stop climbing. Finally at the turn around, I caught up to Heather. She informed me that we had run a 7:40 and now were on pace for a 5:40. That’s quite a swing in mile splits for a road half-marathon!

The cold air was pretty brutal and I still feel like my lungs are recovering. Heather and I stayed side by side until mile 10ish and then we stayed within a few strides. It was the first half-marathon where I finished and felt content. It didn’t feel hard, it didn’t feel stressful --- it was actually fun. I finished in 1:23:40, my slowest road half-marathon to date (but based on results, looks like the climbing added about 4 minutes to times --- so I am bound for 1:19s!), and Heather was right behind in 1:23:52 (results). Heather and I agreed that it was our best pre-trials workout to date. After a quick hug at the finish, we loaded the layers back on and resumed running while chatting about life.

The Walnut Creek Half Marathon was a confidence booster. It was great to be out on the pavement, stress free, and physically strong and healthy. I could have used another 10 degrees, but I am incredibly grateful to have friends like Heather to remind me why I like to run, a foot that has stopped being a pain in the arse, and a warm hat and arm sleeves.