Ohlone 50k

So I put on my Wildcats this morning and ended up running Ohlone. A girl just can't say no to a tough run, well at least I can't say no. And, I am so fucking glad that I ran it. Ummm and climbing legs were no problem, obviously. Although I do have to say, I walked probably all the hills or as Mark Tanaka said, bounded. The crazy part of the whole day was my time. Get this, last night I am listening to my tape from the 80's that has me visualize my race. At some point the tape says you see yourself coming through the finish with the exact time on the clock that you predicted. I instantly thought 5:05 and then thought, fuck that seems fast. But that is the number I kept seeing. So what time did I run today, ummm basically a 5:05 (5:04.36). Is that not fucking crazy?! Another course record too... whoohoo!

Anyway back to the race. Damn is that course beautiful. I love the cows. I love the crazy trees. I love the hills. Unfortunately I ran a good majority of the race alone, just me, my body, and breath. I just tried to enjoy every step and I was happy when I saw that Mark was close behind and walking the hills occasionally too. Did I mention this race has lots of climbing? Yup it does, but that made me happy. After Rose Peak, I thought most the climbing was done, but I failed to remember some climbs. At some point Troy Howard caught back up to me and told me the next woman was a few minutes back. It was Prudence L'Heureux who finished right behind me... amazing race Prudence!!! Ok, other details, I peed my pants again. I only had about 4 miles left, so I thought what the fuck. At least this time I had on my Sugoi shorts instead of a pair of cotton shorts. They dried much quicker. Ummm... I felt happy the whole race and I really just enjoyed myself. I took a nice dip in Lake Del Valle when I finished. I had a great veggie burger (no not more turkey Gary) and got to talk with folks. Fellow La Sportiva teamates represented, Leor Pantilat won in 4:29 and Mark Tanaka ran a 5:09! Fuck yeah!

See sometimes you just have to put on the running shoes, go out there, and just see what happens. By the way thanks Larry for a wonderful race and also for introducing yourself at the aid station. Also thanks to all the volunteers, you were all super friendly.


(Picture courtesy of Jean Pommier)

Goodbye Coffee, Hello Turkey

I've officially said goodbye to coffee (for now). In all honesty, I stopped craving it. I used to love the taste, but the last couple times I got my cafe o'lait, it tasted like shit. In fact I couldn't even finish it. So it is back to chai for a little caffeine high. I am sure eventually, I'll crave it again, but so far I am enjoying the vacation. I've been sleeping more, 8-10 hours a night and even enjoying naps throughout the day. Sleep is the best. I love to sleep. It is dangerous when I lay down because usually within seconds, I am knocked out. And then dreaming seconds later. But, this is not a new trend. Caffeine or not, I am a sleeper and a dreamer.

Ok so I've got coffee off the intake list, but I have a new item hopping on (for today). I've been vegetarian for close to 7 years. I was vegan for about 2 and then I added yogurt and milk back in a few months ago. Not a lover of cheese, so that has not returned to my diet. But since Miwok I've been craving a turkey sandwich. Not fish. Not a burger. But a turkey sandwich. So today, I ate one. I decided I shouldn't be dogmatic in things that relate to my body. Ironically this is the first time in 7 years where I have craved meat. And I've been craving it on and off for the past month. In the past it was not even a thought. Not sure I will keep meat as part of my diet as it does interfere with beliefs I have. I am just taking one day at a time. If I crave coffee, I'll have it. If I crave turkey, I'll have it. Just going to keep listening to my body. It has never mislead me so far.

Ohlone is this weekend. I've been going back and forth about it as my climbing legs still seem to be in recovery since Miwok. But toe is good, knee is about healed, and I think I am over my cold. So fuck it (unless my body tells me differently come Sunday), time to throw on the running shoes and have some fun out on those hills!!!

Track

Some weeks are just not your week. As I've said before, it is like torture for me to take days off from running. Obviously with my foot, I had to rest. Tuesday and Wednesday I rested and my foot was feeling great, so Thursday I road my bike up to the trails, ran a great 8 mile out and back. When I was heading back down the hill on my bike, I swerved away from a car that driving to fucking close. I thought I caught my balance and then the next second, I am splayed out on the road. I fell hard. Surprisingly only bruised and scraped up my left patella and got a sore left pinky finger. It hurt, but I didn't cry. I just got back on my bike and road home with my knee bleeding like crazy . I walked to work that night deciding I needed a break from my bike. Friday the plan was to do a 25k out on Diablo with Will. I woke-up feeling sick, but tried to claim it was just allergies. And, I had body aches like crazy, not sure if it was from my fall and/or potentially being sick. Either way, I was like fuck it were running Mt. Diablo. It all started great and then about 3 miles in, I felt like shit. I was shaking, nauseous, and dizzy. And, every single time I tried to run, my body said, "nope, we're walking today honey." We got a lovely 5 mile hike in for the remainder. I was sad, upset, and just irritated by the fact that I so badly wanted to run. Obviously my body has been giving me signals to just rest, but of course, I worry about loosing fitness, deeply miss having my daily routine, and just plain crave running. Well, after my wonderful bonk at Diablo, Will and I went to grab some food and then I iced my knee, which was lovely and swollen. As it started to cool off outside, I asked Will if he wanted to go to the track. I'm telling you, I had to run. I haven't been to the track in probably a year, possibly more, but speed sounded fun. We did a nice warm-up mile and then I did three fast miles (5:49, 5:49, and 5:47). I was in disbelief, they were consistently fast... yay! Shit the last time I did a track workout I think my mile repeats were like 6:30's. I had regained some confidence that my week with rest had not made me slower and I was just super happy. I finished each of those miles feeling good and strong. So maybe it was my week after all, a little rest can go a long ways, and I should be back out on the trails today.

Feet, Rest, Podiatrist

Wouldn't it be nice if we could just tell our body to be fast certain days or tell our 3rd metatarsal to just stop hurting and it would listen? Maybe the reality is that if we listened to our bodies, they would listen back. I am heading to the podiatrist today. First time I've ever been to a foot doctor. I love my feet (Don't worry, I don't have some fetish. I just think feet are cool. Thus, one of my drawings up top.), seriously grateful for the years of dancing I put them through and of course now all the running miles I put on them. My 3rd metatarsal is a bit unhappy. Last Wednesday, I hopped out of bed surprised by the pain. It appeared out of nowhere and of course, I continued to run. Ok I took Saturday off and I've been running less miles, but really I should just rest. Common sense (especially when you develop the gangster limp), but yet so difficult. I think about my yoga practice. Every day that I practice my body is different. Some days I am more flexible, some more energetic. While doing yoga, I pay attention to what my body says and I listen. And, that is what I teach to others as well. But, for some reason it is harder to do that with running. Before I started running ultras, I literally ran every day. I am sure that within a years time, I would only miss one or two days because of illness, travel, etc. It is like brushing my teeth, I get up every day and just do it. I am a complete addict. As much as I know that rest is good and listening to my body is important, it is fucking hard to do when it comes to running. I tend to just want to push through things and hope that they'll disappear. Not going to ignore my poor metatarsal, it is trying to tell me something. Wish me luck at the podiatrist.

Arc

Good day yesterday. I went on a 20 miler with Devon Crosby-Helms, Gary Gellin, and Will Gotthardt. We ran in the Ohlone wilderness. I walked a lot of the hills, but body is feeling pretty good and happy. Been giving it lots of love since last weekend, swimming, mellow running, and practicing some yoga and pilates. Massage on Friday was pretty fucking fabulous. French fries and chocolate milk on the day following Miwok were also pretty fucking fabulous. Simple things can be so fucking fabulous.



Anyway, after my run yesterday, I was sipping wine with some girls, talking about boys, and how some are all willy nilly when it comes to kissing (Note I say some, I am not pointing any fingers. In fact, I can't remember a bad kisser since 7th grade, but according to the conversation bad kissers still exist into adulthood). Come on guys, you can't just throw a tongue in someone's mouth all chaotically and shit. As one girl said, "it (a kiss) has got to have an arc."

Alright this will all make sense in a second (I think), but bare with me, it will be a bit haphazard as well. The night before this conversation, I went to an arm balance workshop taught by Ido Portal. Learned a bit more about handstands and balance. But, the best thing about the workshop was a couple things he said regarding dedication and beauty. Someone asked him about repetitions of an exercise and he commented on push-ups, how most people want to see how many they can power through, but then asked when we'd all seen a really beautiful push-up. Made me think a great deal about the quality of what we do and the awareness that it takes to move our bodies beautifully. So where was I going with this? Who knows, I guess I just started to think about when I was in school for art. How in the end, I realized that my life is a piece of art. Something I strive for is being aware and creative in each day, each moment. Doesn't happen all the time, but when it does, it is pretty fucking fabulous and beautiful. So I have to go back to the girl's comment for a moment, "it has got to have an arc"... kissing, life, moments, days, beauty...

Too Far, Too Fast

I am one of those people that tends to do too much, get overwhelmed, have a breakdown, and then re-do the cycle, over, and over. I've gotten a little bit better. I used to be unable to say the words no. I'd see an opportunity and always say yes. Ok I still often say yes, but I do know when I am getting close to the breaking point and need to back off.

People keep asking if I'll be doing Western States. My answer: no. First because I am not prepared to take on a 100 mile race, I just started running ultras a little over two months ago. Miwok taught me a great deal. I was not physically or emotionally prepared for that race. Yes I did it and I am proud of myself, but I felt a little disconnected from the joy I get from running. With all that said, the actual race was overall good even with the nausea and ups and downs. It was the aftermath that has me reconsidering longer races without preparation. I was up on and off the whole night after sick. I hobbled out of bed the next morning and I could barely get on my bike to ride to work (I know bad idea to work the next day, but like I said, I am horrible at saying no). In fact, I literally had to pick my leg up to place it on the peddle. I only taught for a couple hours, but the entire time I felt terrible. I didn't have an appetite until about 3 in the afternoon. I spent most the day laying in bed, other than a brief cleaning frenzy moment. I don't like feeling blah and I don't know how I expected to feel after 62 miles, but I guess I was hoping for more than just blah. As for today, I am doing much better. I walked to work and my body feels almost 100%, but emotionally, I am not as great. Feeling a little depressed and I know it is related to everything my body has been through in the last 48 hours. I had not expected the emotional piece, which makes it that much harder.

My second reason for not jumping into States is my heart is not in that particular race. My heart is in running. I just love to run whether it is a race or not, I don't care. Being out in the woods, in the mud, hearing my breath makes me incredibly happy. In fact that is why I hate even missing a day of it. I never want to fall out of love with running and I do fear jumping into a race like WS could do it. Maybe, I'll be sharing too much, but I think it deserves sharing. In my late teens/early 20's, I struggled with anorexia. I denied my body nutrients and denied my heart joy. It was my mom who told me that my body is the one thing I will have my entire life, so I've got to love it like crazy. Those words, my love of running, and my art changed my perspectives and in the years following my recovery, my body and heart became something that I listened to, cared for, and appreciated.

Lastly, I am one of those people that always wants to do well at something. I don't want to go out there and just wing it. I want to do really well. This is not a race where I can just wing it and do well, it takes planning and preparation. I just started ultras. In some ways I've barely had time to absorb the last couple months. It has been kind of a whirlwind. I never expected to be doing so well. I just love to run. When I run Western States, I want to be able to soak up the experience, know my heart is in it, be prepared, and do the best I possibly can. So yup, no WS for me this year, maybe next year, maybe not. As long as I am running, I am happy.


(I took this photo about two years ago. I was having a crummy day and I went up to Lake Chabot. Ran for a couple hours and took my shitty camera with me. About 3/4 of the way into the run, I decided to just plain jump in the mud puddles. One of the best runs of my life.)

My First 100k (I guess a girl can live on shot blocks alone... maybe)

I did it! 62 fucking miles. Not bad considering my farthest run was 40 miles and I'd only been building up the mileage in the three weeks prior. At the start of the race, I stayed close behind Kami Semick and Anita Oritz, fellow La Sportiva teammate. I just got a thrill out of watching them and seeing what they did in the beginning of the race. They are two amazing runners. I hung with them until we approached Muir Beach and then it seemed their pace picked up, so I just settled in and focused on running my own race.

At almost every aid station my friends, Will and Jordan, were there to support me. It was coming up to Pan Toll that I struggled the most. My hip has been giving me all kinds of problems (an issue I've been having for a few weeks) and I also just felt super nauseous. I told Will and Jordan to get me an ibuprofen at the Bolinis aid station. It was windy along Bolinis Ridge, but I felt kind of bad ass because at this point I was sporting a sports bra. I didn't feel cold, but it may just have added to the nausea. Either way I got my ibuprofen and they offered me some PB & honey, but there was no way I was going to eat anything. I was hurting bad and wanted to quit, but I just don't give up that easily. I continued to take shot bloks just cause I knew I needed calories (I don't want to see those things for a long time, eating them for 9 hours... blah). Anyway after I stopped to pee I felt a little better and I just continued to put one foot in front of the other. Coming back up to Bolinis aid station, it was super helpful hearing other runners cheering for me as they made their way out to Randall. My apologies for not saying good job back to all of you, I was hurting. When I hit Bolinis aid station again, Will and Jordan made me put a shirt and jacket on. Will started pacing me at this point and told me that at every aid station I had hit spits for a 9:10 exactly, keeping a consistent 9 minute mile pace the whole way.

I kept that consistency until we hit Tennessee Valley. Then I had to walk all the hills. At this point I was feeling really sick, but at one point I turned to Will and said, "I am really proud of myself." I was amazed that I was almost to the finish. I could hear people at the end. Once I got down the stairs, I gave a final kick and smiled the whole way in. I finished in 9:18. Kami won in 9:07 and Anita 9:10. I must of been high on finishing because I felt good for about 10 minutes, but then sick to my stomach until this morning. I am still not feeling 100% and I've been struggling to take down food. In fact it was a pretty restless night of sleep. It remains hard for me to take deep breaths and of course my body aches. But what did I expect to happen after 62 miles? Still feeling proud of mysel



(Photos courtesy of Brett Rivers)